Have you ever found yourself caught in love? I think right now I really don't know if I should listen to my heart or just go with the more practical choices. I wanted to be independent. It's expensive. I wanted to spend more money on my son. He had no idea, totally. He thinks I am being hard on him, not giving in to whatever he wants. I thought maybe it's never too late to teach a six year old that he can never have everything. I am not sure if it's the right thing to do. Do I stunt his growth because of this?
I am going to start to cry anytime now. I feel so alone. I feel no one is helping me with anything. I should be okay but I feel I am only alone in working. The things that I am doing right now should be accomplished by three or more people but I am working on them alone. It's easier for me to be kind when there's at least one person who mattered which is very kind to me. They say you are the sum of the five people around you. If I can't be around productive people, I think I am better off alone. I don't want to be influenced.